Brick Walls
by mysensitiveside
Summary: The latest crime scene turns personal for Cindy. Jill/Cindy
1. Chapter 1

**Title:** Brick Walls

**Fandom:** Women's Murder Club

**Pairing:** Jill/Cindy

**Rating:** R (eventually)**  
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**Prompt:** For aubztastik, who prompted with the lyrics to "Skyway Avenue" by We The Kings. Not sure if this quite matches the lyrics, but hope you like it!

**Word count:** 798

**Disclaimer:** Alas, characters aren't mine.

**Warning/Spoilers:** Takes place post-finale. Will contain lots of angst.

**Summary:** The latest crime scene turns personal for Cindy.

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Part 1

Jill was pulled from sleep by the sound of the ringing phone. For what seemed like the millionth time, Jill cursed her career choice, already intuiting that only something job-related would warrant a call at such an ungodly hour.

Pulling her pillow over her head, Jill heard a muffled voice answer the phone out in the hall, but she refused to get out of bed. If it was anything serious, Cindy would come get her.

Sure enough, Jill soon heard a light knock, and she peeked out from beneath her pillow to see Cindy poke her head around the door.

"Hey. That was Lindsay. Coffee'll be ready in five minutes," came the sleepy explanation, before Cindy retreated back out of the room.

It was hardly a detailed announcement, but it was all Cindy needed to say. In the month since Jill had moved in to the redhead's spare bedroom, similar phone calls had already come often enough that they'd settled into a routine for dealing with the late-night summons down to crime scenes.

Jill allowed herself another minute to soak up any last remnants of comfort she could squeeze from her bed, before dragging herself to her feet.

Padding barefoot into the kitchen, Jill found Cindy pouring two large mugs full of steaming coffee. They didn't speak, neither one fully awake yet, as Jill simply sank into one of the chairs at the table. She smiled in gratitude as Cindy slid a mug in front of her, prepared just the way she liked it.

After quickly finishing the first cup, they separated to change from tank tops and boxers into more suitable attire. As usual, Cindy was the first one ready, so when Jill exited her bedroom once again, she was immediately handed a second serving of caffeine, this time in a travel mug.

Jill finally spoke her first words since waking up as she slid into Cindy's car. "So, where are we headed this time?"

Cindy yawned before replying, "Just north of Market Street, in the Tenderloin area."

"Lovely. Nothing quite like a trip down to the seediest area of San Francisco at 3:30 in the morning. Why do I need to be there, again? I doubt that my legal expertise will actually be needed at this point. And whatever; I know what you're going to say, but _screw_ solidarity to the club."

Cindy just smiled. The rest of the ride was held in comfortable silence, and by the time Cindy parked Maggie within sight of the flashing police cars, both women had managed to fully wake themselves up.

Jill was always amazed at the quick turnaround Cindy was able to make from half-asleep to wide awake and raring to go. She smiled amusedly as Cindy chose to jump over the police tape, instead of ducking under it.

"Hey, when did we start letting you just waltz onto crime scenes?" Jill asked, making no effort to stop Cindy.

"Um, Lindsay gave up trying to keep me away about a week ago. Way to pay attention, roomie." Cindy rolled her eyes, but softened her expression with a smile. "Anyway, there they are," Cindy pointed out, nodding her head in the direction of a cluster of people, including Lindsay, Claire, Jacobi, and Tom. "Aw man, apparently we're late to the party. I totally forgot until now that I bet Claire I could make it here faster than her this time."

Jill chuckled. "Well, you can blame it on me, I guess."

"Meaning you'll pay the bet?" Cindy batted her eyelashes, looking up at Jill with an exaggerated innocence.

"Hell, no," Jill replied, smirking. "That one's still your problem."

Cindy pouted adorably, but at that point, they were close enough to the core of the crime scene that Jill knew she didn't want to go any further. Instead, she simply watched as Cindy sent her one more smile and then turned to join the rest of the group.

Jill frowned, though, as she saw Cindy almost immediately stagger backwards. She might have collapsed to the ground, if Jacobi hadn't quickly caught the reporter's arm, holding her upright.

Ignoring her usual reluctance to getting within ten feet of a dead body, Jill rushed forward, grabbing hold of Cindy's other arm and staring in alarm and confusion as the color drained from Cindy's face.

Cindy's gaze was still fixed firmly to the body on the ground, though, and she only looked away when her own body suddenly heaved, with Cindy looking for a moment like she was going to be sick. Again, it was only the strong grips around her that kept her on her feet.

Cindy had gained the attention of the others, at that point, but it was only Jill and Jacobi who heard Cindy's whispered declaration.

"I know her."

**TBC...**


	2. Chapter 2

Part 2

The world in front of her was swimming.

Cindy closed her eyes against the swirl of shapes and colors, only to snap them back open when that face -- that normally warm and caring face, now turned pale and lifeless -- appeared behind her eyelids. She could vaguely hear voices around her, apparently trying to talk to her, but her mind felt too muddled to make out any actual words.

She felt herself moving, unsure of how it was happening until her brain finally registered the firm hands holding onto her, propelling her away from the crime scene.

Cindy had never had a real panic attack before, but she had a feeling it might be something like this -- the ringing in her head, the dizziness, the pounding in her chest, the struggle to get enough air... Cindy was pretty sure that she knew a panic attack when she felt one.

She felt helpless to stop it, though. Could only feel the mounting panic, rising up around her. She struggled to keep the contents of her stomach inside her, keep the panic-fear-heartbreak-confusion from spilling from her throat, already raw with the effort to hold back the threatening tears.

It made no sense. _She_ (Cindy couldn't even bring herself to think the name, to make it real) wasn't supposed to be here.

Not in San Francisco. Not lying on the cold, dirty ground.

Not here.

Not like this.

Cindy jumped at the feel of cool skin against her cheek. She blinked, her eyes finally becoming aware of her surroundings. She was sitting in the passenger seat of a random police cruiser, hugging her knees to her chest and facing outwards through the open door. The hand on her cheek belonged to Jill, crouching in front of her and trying to get her attention; the fuzzy forms in front of her transformed into the concerned and scared faces of her three friends.

"Cindy? Honey? I'm going to take you home, okay?" Jill's voice was soft and calm, even as her eyes frantically searched Cindy's face.

"I'm coming with you." Claire and Lindsay spoke simultaneously, clearly leaving no room for argument.

Cindy could only nod her head, allowing Jill and Claire to ease her onto her feet, as she vaguely noticed Lindsay going to talk briefly with Tom and Jacobi before joining them at Cindy's car.

The ride back to the apartment was silent. Claire held her hand in the backseat, as Jill and Lindsay kept glancing back at them in the rearview mirror.

Cindy forced herself to breathe deeply, keeping all her attention focused on the external, the tangible -- the whirr of air outside the car, the texture of the car seat beneath her, the feel of three pairs of eyes watching her -- instead of all the questions running desperately through her head.

Once back in the apartment, the four of them silently made their way to the living room.

Claire didn't release Cindy's hand, choosing to offer what small amount of comfort she could. Or maybe it was simply that Cindy was gripping so tightly that Claire couldn't have let go, even if she wanted to.

Sitting down on the couch, Cindy took one look around her friends' near-identical expressions, full of questions and concern, and then locked her gaze on the opposite wall. She didn't know what to tell them. Didn't know whether she'd be able to make her vocal chords operate correctly anyway.

"Cindy..." Lindsay's voice broke hesitantly through the silence.

Cindy simply shook her head, not even allowing the inspector to finish her question. No matter what Lindsay wanted to ask, Cindy knew that she couldn't handle answering quite yet. She dropped Claire's hand, sinking her head down between her knees and clasping her hands over her head.

How much time passed in stillness, Cindy had no idea, but eventually she felt a slight shift on the couch as Claire stood up. Presumably, she went to stand near Jill and Lindsay, as the movement was soon followed by quiet murmurs, the sound muffled by Cindy's forearms, held tightly against her ears.

In defiance of her body's immobility, Cindy's mind simply would not keep still. Just a stream of questions, not even allowing herself any time to think about the answers.

When was the last time Cindy had seen her? What had happened? Why was she here? Why was she--? Why was she dead?

And repeat.

When was the last time Cindy had seen her? What had happened? Why was she here? Why was she dead?

The couch shifted once again, and a light hand landed on her back, rubbing slow, soothing circles. Cindy remained bent at the waist, but forced herself to lower her arms and turn her head to the side. She hadn't heard anyone leave, so was surprised to see that Jill was the only one left in the room with her.

As if reading her mind, Jill spoke softly, "The others wanted to stay, but their cars were still down at the- Downtown. I told them they should go home. I hope that's okay."

Cindy nodded. "How did they get back there? Did you leave?"

"No," Jill replied quickly. "No, we called Jacobi. He came and picked them up."

Cindy frowned in confusion. She had apparently been completely unaware of a lot of things happening right around her.

"What time is it?" She finally sat up again, though Jill's hand barely missed a beat, still tracing idle patterns across her back.

"Almost 6:30."

"Shit, really?" A lot more time had passed than Cindy had thought. "Shit, I have to go to work. So do you!" Cindy looked fully into Jill's face for the first time in hours, only then noticing the bags under her friend's eyes. Jill looked like a tired mess, and Cindy was probably about ten times worse, she imagined.

Cindy began to stand up, but Jill's quick hand on her shoulder eased her back down. "We're both taking a sick day today. Lindsay and Claire promised to smooth over any issues with potentially disgruntled bosses."

"But I... I should... I need to work. I need something to focus on. Something to do!" For Cindy -- only rarely able to enjoy sitting still for very long -- a day of inactivity sounded particularly terrifying in this instance.

"You need to sleep, Cindy," Jill replied gently. "You're in no condition to get anything done right now."

Jill seemed to sense Cindy's continued agitation, though, since she went on, "At least try to rest for a few hours, okay? Then maybe you can work from home. Keep yourself busy."

After a beat, Cindy nodded, absently biting down on her lower lip.

She was startled when Jill reached out to her, cupping Cindy's chin in her palm and lightly using her thumb to free Cindy's lip from between her teeth. "Careful, there. Looks like you might almost be ready to break the skin."

Cindy blinked. It was only at Jill's words that she even noticed the way her lip was throbbing with the force of her bite.

"Right." For once, Cindy couldn't really think of anything to say. "So, okay. Sleep. You will too, right? You look like crap."

Jill laughed, and the sound was enough to bring a small smile to Cindy's lips. "Well gee, thanks Cindy. I guess I can always count on you to just cut through the bullshit and tell it like it is."

They stood up together, and it occurred to Cindy that Jill hadn't asked a single question about that night, even though she must have been dying to. She'd have to tell Jill at some point how much she appreciated it. Not now, though. Sleep was starting to sound increasingly appealing.

Still, she felt the need to say _something_ about the situation.

"Jill, I..." she began haltingly. "I know you must...must wonder what the hell is going on. But I just. I can't. I can't talk about it. Not now. Not yet."

"Hey, it's all right," Jill soothed, once again reaching out a hand to Cindy's cheek, brushing away two stray tears. "I understand. Whenever you're ready."

Again, with her throat feeling uncomfortably tight, Cindy could only blink back the tears and nod with a jerk of her head. She turned towards her own room and took a few steps before turning back.

Jill hadn't moved; was simply watching Cindy carefully.

Cindy took a deep, steadying breath before she managed to push out any words. "Her name's Lydia. Lydia Baker. I don't know if she had any ID on her, or whatever, so you can tell Lindsay. I don't know if it'll help, but..."

"I'm sure Linz will appreciate it. We'll find him, Cindy. Find out who did this."

Jill's earnestness was clear. Cindy knew that, even without understanding any details, Jill was already prepared to give this one everything she had. It meant something to Cindy, and that was enough for it to mean something to Jill. The knowledge of that deep loyalty made Cindy's heart beat a little faster.

Once again feeling like she was about to cry, Cindy attempted a smile (though it probably came out looking more like a grimace) and turned back towards her room. She closed the door behind her and stood leaning against it for a minute, before allowing herself to collapse into bed, hoping desperately for a night without dreams.

**TBC**


	3. Chapter 3

An actual update?? Shocking, I know. Somehow, I just had a really hard time with this part, and I've just generally been really busy lately. Sorry for taking so long!

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Part 3

Jill listened carefully outside Cindy's door, trying to tell whether there was any sign of movement from within the room. She jumped, startled, as the loud and sudden ringing of her phone broke into the silence. Hurrying to grab it from the living room, Jill could only hope that the sound hadn't woken Cindy up.

"Shhhh!" she whispered harshly into the phone as she rushed to answer it.

There was a long moment of silence, and then Lindsay's voice, a quiet murmur of confusion, came over the line. "How can you tell me to be quiet when I haven't said anything yet?"

Jill snorted. "Sorry. It's just that I hadn't realized my phone was so loud. _I_ should whisper, but you don't have to," she explained.

"Oh. Right. So how is she?" Lindsay asked, getting right to the point.

"I don't know." Jill shrugged helplessly. "She's been in her room all day, mostly sleeping, I think. I heard her moving around a bit early this afternoon, but it's been quiet in there for the last six and a half hours."

"Has she eaten anything? She should eat something."

"Shit, I forgot!" Jill lowered the phone away from her ear as she hurried into the kitchen, arriving just in time to see water boiling over the rim of the pot on the stove. "Dammit!"

"Jill? What happened, are you still there??" Jill could just barely hear the faraway sound of Lindsay's voice.

The blonde lifted the phone back up to mutter distractedly, "Potential kitchen catastrophe. Gimme a minute," before she placed it down on the counter and turned back to the stove. She quickly lowered the heat, but almost burned herself when she reached to remove the lid of the pot. Swearing, she reactively dropped the hot lid onto the floor, cringing at the clanging sound it created, echoing around the room.

So much for keeping the apartment quiet.

"God, this is a fucking disaster," she sighed to herself, shaking out her near-burned hand, and agitatedly running the other one through her hair. She peered warily into the pot, trying to tell whether or not the whole thing was ruined.

Remembering Lindsay, she picked the phone back up; it sounded like the inspector was talking to Claire on the other end, but Jill interrupted. "Hey Linz? You're with Claire, right? Yeah, can I just call back later? I'm working on the food issue. I'll be in touch about things later, once she gets up."

Jill turned back to her attempts at making dinner for Cindy. A light cough behind her caught her attention, though, and she turned around to find Cindy leaning against the doorway to the kitchen, wearing pajamas and a small, amused smile.

"Shit, I woke you up, didn't I? I'm so sorry! I was trying to be quiet, but I obviously failed miserably in that regard." Jill took a moment to simply look at Cindy. The redhead was still paler than usual, but looked a bit more like herself than she had the last time Jill had seen her.

"Hey, it's okay. I was already awake, actually."

Jill looked at Cindy skeptically. "Really? Or are you just saying that to make me feel better?"

"Really," Cindy assured her. "Kind of out of it, as tends to happen when I sleep too much, but awake nonetheless. I just thought that maybe I should come out and investigate the noise. What are you making?" Cindy's rumbling stomach betrayed her interest in the matter.

"Well, if I haven't killed it, it's _supposed_ to fettuccini alfredo. I saw this recipe in a magazine the last time I went to the dentist, and the picture looked really good, but I think it was a little more ambitious than my barely-there culinary skills could handle," Jill explained.

Cindy shrugged. "Well let's give it a shot. Is it ready?"

At Jill's nod, Cindy got out some silverware as Jill prepared two heaping plates of pasta. It didn't look nearly as nice as the picture she'd seen, but Cindy seemed excited about the mere prospect of food.

Jill watched anxiously as Cindy took a first bite. The reporter paused for a beat at the first mouthful, before slowly swallowing and nodding her head. "It's... _good_," she managed unconvincingly.

Raising a disbelieving eyebrow, Jill took a quick bite of her own. The pasta was obviously overcooked, the sauce was too watery, and there was some flavor which Jill couldn't quite identify, but which definitely seemed like it shouldn't be there.

"Wow. That's _awful_," the blonde declared.

Cindy giggled, clearly in agreement. "It's a good thing I like you for more than your culinary skills."

"Screw this. I can't make you eat this," Jill laughed, relieved that Cindy was at least finding some humor in the situation. It felt good to hear her friend laugh. "Think you can handle waiting another fifteen minutes before eating?" she continued. "We can safely say that 'chef' was never meant to be my calling in life, but I can make a damn good grilled cheese, if I do say so myself. And clearly, trying to get extra fancy was _not_ a good plan."

Cindy smiled. "You know, grilled cheese actually sounds a lot more appealing than fettuccini alfredo right now, anyway."

Once the food was made, though, Jill wasn't quite sure what to do next. Her plan hadn't extended past getting some food in Cindy's stomach, and Jill had never been very good at dealing with the emotional stuff, and she thought she'd been doing okay so far, but she didn't know how to make Cindy feel better, and she didn't even really know what was wrong, and while Cindy may have been asleep for the majority of the last twelve and a half hours, Jill had been too worried and restless to sleep much more than five, and...

Still standing in front of the stove, Jill took a deep breath and forced herself to resist the urge to panic. Cindy appeared to be oblivious to Jill's near-freak-out, however, and simply stepped up behind the blonde, reaching around her to grab some food.

"Now _that_ looks good," Cindy commented happily, before uttering a contented sigh as she immediately took a healthy bite out of the sandwich.

The meal that followed was held mostly in silence, other than a bit of stunted small talk. Excluding the previous night, once they'd returned from the crime scene, Jill couldn't recall a single time since she'd known Cindy that the normally talkative redhead had been so withdrawn and quiet. It was disconcerting, and Jill didn't quite know how to handle it.

She stood to clear the dishes, but Cindy's soft voice caused her to freeze in place.

"I met her in high school," Cindy began, mumbling around her finger as she chewed distractedly on a fingernail. "Her family moved nearby before freshman year, and we were in the same English class. I got to know her when we were assigned to do a project together on _A Tale of Two Cities_, and we bonded over our love of books."

She paused, and Jill finally eased back into her chair. Cindy's fingers tapped agitatedly on the table, but Jill reached out and silently wrapped the nervous digits in her own hand. Cindy clutched tightly onto Jill's hand and looked up briefly to meet Jill's eyes, but then lowered her gaze again as she stared at the tablecloth in apparent fascination.

"She was my first girlfriend."

The blush that ran up the reporter's cheeks was the only indication that Cindy was aware of the fact that she had just outed herself. Jill blinked, but willed herself not to outwardly react in any negative way, even as her heart sped up at the revelation. So Cindy dated women. Jill wasn't sure whether she was really surprised, so much as vaguely hurt that Cindy hadn't brought it up before.

Regardless, it wasn't the time to get into it, and Jill, fingers still entwined with Cindy's, simply began to run her thumb soothingly over the back of Cindy's hand. Cindy glanced up at the movement, relaxing visibly at the sight of Jill's supportive smile.

With a deep breath, Cindy continued, "We were young and naïve, and were so sure that that was _it_, you know? One and only. I loved her, I really did, but..." She shrugged, but the professed nonchalance seemed forced. "College happened, and we just drifted apart. I didn't see her for a while, but then the summer after junior year, I happened to randomly run into her. She was just..._so_ different from the girl I'd known."

Suddenly, Jill felt Cindy's hand rip away from her own as the redhead stood up abruptly, pushing herself away from the table and starting to pace in agitation. Jill's brow creased in concern, her heart aching for her hurting friend. She wanted nothing more than to simply make Cindy feel better, but she didn't know how.

"It sounds stereotypical, but she'd done the whole 'running with the wrong crowd' kind of thing, and..." Cindy paused, choking back a sob. "_God_, she was such a mess. _My_ Lydia was still in there, but she was hidden beneath this new mess of a girl."

Cindy wiped roughly at the tears that seemed to suddenly appear on her cheeks. Jill stood up, still unsure what to do, but simply wanting to be closer. She held still, though, when Cindy immediately shook her head and took a few quick steps backwards.

"It took me almost the whole summer of badgering her," Cindy continued, her voice shaking a little, "but I eventually got her into a rehab program. Last I knew, she'd been doing better. She's supposed to be living in Seattle; she's supposed to be doing well. She's not supposed to _be here_, Jill, she's not supposed to be _dead_!" Cindy's voice grew increasingly hysterical, and Jill felt her heart break at the undisguised pain behind the bloodshot, watery brown eyes before her.

Jill stepped forward once again and simply reached out towards Cindy, unable to speak past the lump in her throat. Cindy tried to retreat again, only for her back to collide with the wall behind her. "No-no-no, don't hug me," Cindy pled. "Please don't hug me. If you hug me, then I won't be able to stop crying."

Ignoring her, Jill extended her arms to wrap firmly around the reporter. Cindy struggled against her at first, but Jill refused to let go, and Cindy soon gave in, her own arms grasping desperately onto Jill as she buried her face in the crook of Jill's neck. Jill could feel hot tears soak into the collar of her shirt, but she simply held Cindy tighter.

When her arms began to ache with the effort of largely holding Cindy upright, Jill eased the two of them down onto the floor, sitting with her back against the wall and a bundle of redhead cradled in her lap. She lightly swayed Cindy back and forth, muttering soft words of comfort into the thick mane of red hair beneath her lips.

Jill didn't know how long they sat there, but eventually Cindy seemed to run out of tears. Jill pressed a light kiss to the top of Cindy's head, only to pull back slightly when she felt the form within her arms stiffen.

The next flurry of movement happened so quickly, Jill barely had time to react. Cindy suddenly shifted, pulling her face away from the blonde's neck and leaning forward to press her lips against Jill's. Shocked, Jill gasped, and Cindy took advantage by briefly pushing her tongue between Jill's parted lips.

The kiss was hard, wet, desperate, and sloppy. It was possibly the most intense kiss Jill had ever received.

As soon as Jill began to kiss back, though, Cindy immediately pulled away and, without once meeting Jill's eyes, returned to hiding her face in Jill's shoulder. Jill was left to simply blink in bewilderment, unsure whether the kiss had actually happened or whether she had just imagined the whole thing. The lingering tingle and slight taste of salty tears on her lips left little question, though.

If she hadn't known what to say before, Jill _really_ didn't know what to say now, so she simply leaned her cheek against the crown of Cindy's head and closed her eyes as exhaustion suddenly overtook her. Figuring out anything else would just have to wait.

**TBC**


	4. Chapter 4

Once again, I apologize for taking so long between updates on this. Thanks so much to those of you who are reading and reviewing! :)

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Part 4

Cindy woke up with a light groan. Disoriented at first, she quickly realized that she was lying on her side, on the floor. She didn't feel hung-over, though, so wasn't really sure what she was doing there.

She glanced down at her watch and then reached up to rub at her dry eyes, regretting whatever had made her forget to remove her contacts the night before. It was only when she began to stretch out her stiff muscles, though, that she even realized that there was a soft hand splayed across her hip and a warm body lying behind her.

Looking over her shoulder, Cindy narrowed her eyes in confusion. Jill?

Suddenly, she remembered, and she felt her heart thump rapidly in response.

Oh. Jill.

Cindy had _kissed_ Jill. _Crap_.

Inching carefully out from under Jill's touch, Cindy made her way quietly into the kitchen before turning back to watch her sleeping friend.

This hadn't been how she'd imagined her first kiss with Jill might be. Because she _had_ imagined it, no matter how much she told herself that she shouldn't; that it would never happen. But she'd thought about whether it might be sweet and gentle, only to decide that with someone like Jill, there was probably a greater chance of it ending up along the lines of light and meaningless. Maybe teasing. Maybe drunken. Maybe -- just maybe -- heartfelt on both ends (her own end, she could count on; Jill's, not so much). It would definitely be sexy, though. In Cindy's imagination, at least, kissing Jill could never be anything but toe-curling sexy.

In Cindy's imagination, it had never occurred to her that their first kiss would be forced, sloppy, rushed, and wet with tears. It didn't exactly go along with her plan of wooing the blonde with such an amazing first kiss that Jill would immediately decide that they should start dating.

Sighing, Cindy quietly slipped back by Jill and into the living room, grabbing a blanket off the back of the couch. She settled the blanket over Jill's body and barely resisted the urge to brush the blonde bangs out of Jill's eyes before turning to go make coffee and get some breakfast. She still had some time before she'd need to wake Jill for work.

She was about to pour some milk in her cereal when Jill's phone, lying abandoned on the kitchen counter, began to ring. A glance down at the screen revealed the caller to be Claire, and after a bit of hesitation, Cindy reached to answer the phone.

"Good morning, this is Jill Bernhardt's phone," she announced.

There was a brief pause, and then Claire's voice came over the line, asking, "Cindy?"

"Yeah. Hi, Claire. I'm awake, and Jill isn't, and the phone was right there, so I just sort of decided to answer it, but maybe I shouldn't have, and I could have just let your call go to voicemail or something, but it's too late to change anything about that now anyway, so-"

"Cindy, it's fine that you answered Jill's phone," Claire interrupted Cindy's rambling, a hint of a smile audible in her voice. "So how are you feeling, sweetheart?" she continued softly.

Cindy sighed. "I'm okay. Well, not '_okay_' exactly, but better than before, at least. Jill... Jill helped me get some of the big emotions out, so now I can actually focus again."

The sound of light footsteps alerted her that the blonde in question was awake, and sure enough, Cindy turned around to find Jill blinking sleepily at her, the blanket still wrapped tightly around her shoulders.

Cindy smiled hesitantly and willed herself not to blush. Turning her attention back to the phone, she muttered, "Hey, Claire? Jill's up, so I'm going to pass the phone off to her. Since it is, you know, _her_ phone, after all. I'll let her tell you about Lydia."

With that, she thrust the phone towards Jill, who, obviously not fully awake yet, simply stared at it for a moment before taking it into her hand.

"I don't know if I can talk through everything all over again," Cindy explained, her voice causing Jill's sleepy gaze to shift upwards from the phone. "Will you do it for me?"

Cindy swallowed, unable to look away as clear blue eyes met hers. Jill's short blonde hair, rumpled with sleep, stuck out in a few different directions, and Cindy felt her breath hitch at the ridiculously adorable image of the attorney.

After a seemingly endless moment, Jill rubbed her eyes, apparently trying to wipe the sleep away, before releasing a yawn as she nodded her head in agreement. "Yeah, sure thing," she replied.

"Great." Her cereal momentarily forgotten, Cindy turned to walk out of the room, not really wanting to be in such close proximity as Jill recounted what she knew about Lydia. She paused, though, when a sudden thought struck her. Would Jill mention the whole ex-girlfriend thing? Cindy definitely planned to come out to her other friends sooner rather than later at this point, but she wasn't sure that she was ready for it to happen right this moment, or for it to come from Jill's mouth instead of her own.

She stood frozen in the doorway, listening to Jill's end of the conversation.

"Yeah, I'm sorry I didn't call back yesterday. I got caught up with things here," Jill was saying. "Well at this point, you've talked to her more than I have this morning, so I don't really know. I think you're right, though. ... I hope so. ... Yeah. ... Okay, so Lydia Baker. She's an old friend of Cindy's from high school. Got involved in some serious drugs during college. As far as Cindy knew, she'd gotten clean, though. Had gone through rehab and had been living in Seattle."

Cindy exhaled. Jill had said the perfect amount, relating the important details without letting slip that certain piece of information which Cindy was happy to keep secret for the time being.

She turned back around to see Jill glance down at her watch before looking up again to lock eyes on Cindy as she continued, "In an hour? Sure, I can do that. ... Okay, I will. ... Yeah, see you then. Bye."

Silence filled the room once Jill hung up the phone, before they both started speaking at once.

"About last night..."

"How are you..."

Laughing, Jill indicated for Cindy to go first.

With a deep breath, Cindy tried again. "I just...wanted to thank you. For putting up with me last night."

"Hey, it's no problem. Really. I'm just glad I could be there for you," the blonde answered as she took a step forward and reached out to gently brush a hand up and down Cindy's arm.

Suddenly more nervous than before, Cindy rubbed at the back of her neck, trying not to fidget any more than that.

"And about, um... Well, about how it ended..." Cindy trailed off, unsure how to finish her sentence.

Jill waved off Cindy's concern. "Don't worry about it. It was an emotional night for you; you needed some comfort, and I happened to be there. I totally understand."

Cindy nodded. Right. That was a good explanation. It made sense. She'd go with that one. Because that was definitely a better explanation than 'Oh my God, I have a major crush on you, but I've been too afraid to make a move, because making a move would obviously be a completely moronic thing to do, but I was sad and vulnerable, and you were perfect, and I just couldn't stop myself.'

Yep, Jill's explanation was absolutely a better one than that.

"Besides," the attorney continued with a smirk, "it's not every day that I have gorgeous women suddenly kissing the hell out of me, so I really can't complain." Jill winked, apparently only gaining amusement as Cindy's face instantly flushed with embarrassment.

The redhead felt her heart skip a beat (_Jill thinks I'm gorgeous? She's probably just being nice to make me feel better._), but decided that it was about time to change the subject. "Yeah. I'm really sorry about that. But anyway, what's in an hour?" At Jill's initially confused expression, Cindy prompted, "With Claire?"

"Oh, right. It's nothing, don't worry about it." Jill shrugged nonchalantly.

"Nothing?" Cindy scoffed. "If it was nothing, then you would just tell me about it. So that means that it _is_ something, but you just don't want to tell me. You know I'm going to find out anyway, right? So you might as well just tell me now."

Cindy gave her best 'I'm intimidating' look, but the attempt only made Jill grin affectionately. "Sorry babe, but I think Lindsay's got a monopoly on the laser vision. Just not quite the same effect when it comes from you."

"Are you meeting together to talk about the case?" Cindy probed, figuring she'd try to fish around until she figured something out.

Jill remained quiet, eyeing her with a mixture of contemplation and sympathy. Cindy didn't want Jill's sympathy.

"Are you meeting to decide what to get me for my birthday?"

This time Cindy received a smile to accompany the blue-eyed stare.

Undaunted by the continued silence, Cindy pressed on, "Are you getting together to discuss whether or not I'm mentally unstable after my little emotional breakdown thing?"

That one got a response. "What? Cindy, no, that's ridiculous." Sighing, Jill finally relented. "You're right, though; you will find out eventually, so I may as well just spill. And look, none of us expect you to come, okay? But Claire's done the autopsy."

Cindy blanched, as Jill looked down towards the floor. Inwardly freaking out about Jill had managed to distract Cindy relatively well from the reason why she had needed Jill's comfort in the first place.

Lydia was dead. And Claire knew why.

"I'm coming with you." Cindy was proud of her ability to keep her voice steady.

Jill looked back up at her sharply. "You're coming? Cindy, I really don't think that's such a good idea."

"I _need_ to be there. I'm obviously not going to cover the story, but I need to be part of this case." Cindy paused, taking in a deep breath. "I _loved_ her, Jill, and I need to know who did this to her."

Jill simply watched her intently at first, and it took all Cindy's control to look squarely back at her friend, refusing to squirm under the scrutiny.

Apparently satisfied with something, Jill finally looked away first, brushing her bangs out of her eyes. "Okay. But if you start to feel uncomfortable or freaked out, or whatever... _Anything_. You just give me a look and I will leave with you, right away. No questions asked. Okay? None of us will think any less of you for wanting to get out of there. Hell, I still think you're kind of crazy for wanting to be there in the first place, so you'd just be convincing me that you're normal. So you can come, but you have to promise me that you won't stay just because you feel like you should -- just one look and we're out of there. Deal?"

Cindy smiled, touched by Jill's concern. Still, she felt the need to point out, "Well, it's not like you've got much to go with, in terms of bargaining. I mean, as much as you guys like to joke that I'm only twelve, you can't exactly forbid me from entering the morgue. But yeah, I promise."

There was a lighthearted twinkle in Jill's eye as she replied with a wink, "Oh, I don't know. If I really wanted to keep you out of there, I bet I could convince Lindsay to arrest you for something or other."

"The sad part is that you're probably right," Cindy laughed. "But okay, then. If we don't want to be late, I should probably change out of pj's, and you should get out of yesterday's clothes."

Jill looked down at herself, as if she'd already forgotten about falling asleep on their dining room floor, still dressed in her day-off outfit of jeans and a t-shirt. "Right, good plan," she agreed, turning to head towards her bedroom.

"And remember," Cindy called after her, "I can get ready faster than you, so no trying to sneak out the door before me."

"Yeah, yeah," Jill waved a loose hand behind her as she continued out of the room. "Watch out, maybe I'll beat you one of these days! And I get the shower first!"

With a deep breath, Cindy turned away as well. It was going to be long day, she could just tell.


End file.
